Everything Started Out OK, and Then.....

I went shopping Friday evening--just as I do every Friday evening. ALONE. That's the best part. I don't have anyone throwing a fit because I'm not buying toys, or CDs or whatever.

Last year, I made a master list of everything we use or could ever need. I run one off once a week and circle what we need. Then I go to my trusty coupons and pull out the ones we will use and put them in the front of my organizer. Now before you think I'm completely anal, I am, but that doesn't mean I'm completely rigid. I do go off the list from time to time. I just want to make sure I'm not forgetting anything.

I went grocery shopping, to Target for underwear and shampoo and then to Costco--oh how I love the Costco. Sigh!!!! Almost as much as I love Target, but that's another post.

After a good 3 hours of retail therapy, I came home to find Paul looking rather sad. I figured he was tired and the boys were all over him. So when I asked him how the boys were and if anything was wrong he said, "Nah, nothing's wrong, but your Auntie Jean called. Larissa wants to see you."

At that point, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I called my Aunt, thinking Paul must have heard her wrong or something. But he was right. Larissa wanted to see me.

People tell me how much they hate hospitals all the time. Duh!!!! I have yet to meet anyone who actually LIKES hospitals. Maybe doctors and nurses, but to sit around visiting someone sick--no love lost there. I done it way too much. My grandmother had heart problems, then Paul's parents both had cancer and other health problems, then my Uncle Don, my mom....way too much time spent in the hospital. But I'm really good at putting on my happy face and getting a special get well gift and sitting there. My reputation precedes me--lonely and want someone to sit with you when you are sick??? I'm your girl.

I do it because I love my family. When I had my boys, I had visitors (not my mom) and I was glad to have them. As I have said before, I am not a big fan of hospitals and having visitors took my mind off of being there.

Larissa wanting to see me shocked me. Donnie and she are private people and I thought she'd want just her son, grandson, husband and my aunt around her. But she was looking for me.

I remember meeting her when I was around 5 years old. She was really cool (and 16 years old). She was nice to me and didn't treat me like a baby. I've always liked her. She's loud and funny and she makes me laugh.

My Auntie Jean warned me she might or might not know me, or even remember I was there. I told her I understood and I was prepared. My MIL and Uncle Don both died from brain tumors. There isn't much I haven't seen.

She was asleep when I went in. My cousin Donnie (her husband) was there and we talked a lot. When she finally did wake up, she was really groggy and told Don, "God, that looks just like cousin Sheri." "It is me, you crazy woman!!" I said. We both laughed. I was there over 4 hours. She is lucid at times and at other times, has no idea what is happening to her.

She was still able to eat on Saturday and asked her if she wanted me to get her some pierogi from Pierogi Fest. She giggled and said yes. And I told her I'd be back.

I went back yesterday, pierogi in hand, only to find she can't eat solids anymore. She is still lucid about 30% of the time, but is going downhill quickly. She might get to go home today. There is nothing more the hospital can do for her. Treatments would just make her sicker and the tumors will not shrink anymore.

She is going to die soon. And the only thing I can do is bring her mashed up pierogi.

The Call

My dad has two sisters and a brother.

My Uncle Danny died at the tender age of 26 from an infection that caused his brain to swell. There's a medical name for the condition, but I couldn't even come close to spelling it and I'm sure spellcheck would declare me insane, so I'm not going to bother now. Uncle Danny left behind his young bride and two children. I was born less than a month after he died.

Then there's Aunt Pat. She's a couple of years younger than my dad and older than Uncle Danny. Her second husband killed her. I won't get into the details now, but if you are interested, let me know. Aunt Pat was loud and crass. She talked like a truck driver. She was very crafty and thanks to that, I have some beautiful baby blankets, quilts and the like. But she had a way of stirring the pot, so to speak. She tended to talk behind your back, and it wasn't always nice. My mom always told me to watch out what I said around her. But from a kid's standpoint, she was the "fun" aunt. I still have the giant Barbie doll she got me in 4th grade. Good times.

Then there's my. favorite. aunt. ever--Auntie Jean. She was, is and always will be Auntie to me. She is only 11 months younger than my dad. Words won't do justice to how kind and sweet she is. As a kid, I appreciated Aunt Pat's humor and personality more. Auntie Jean was harder to get to know, so to speak. She is mild-mannered. Quiet. Kind. Gentle. Generous with her actions as well as with gifts. She gives from her heart. I didn't really understand that until I went away to college. She wrote to me--a lot. That meant the world to me. Her letters were funny and sweet and she always put stickers all over them. About every third letter, she'd send me a few bucks, but asked that I keep that a secret. She wasn't giving Azzwipe any money and didn't want my parents to be offended. I always wrote back.

My Auntie Jean married my Uncle Don in 1952. Theirs was a marriage to be envied. He opened doors for her and helped her put on her coat. They held hands. He called her "his sweetie." Uncle Don was also quiet and unassuming. Once, again, I didn't appreciate him until I got older. We would talk about sports and the like. He was a funny sweet man. I loved him very very much. I say loved, because two years ago this September, he died from a brain tumor.

My Auntie Jean and Uncle Don had two children--Donny and Kenny. My Aunt always told me she wanted more, but she never got pregnant again. Kenny died 2 days before his 21st birthday. He got in with the wrong crowd as a teenager, and had problems with drugs. I was 9 years old when he died. The only thing I remember about how he died was hearing he had drugs in his system and got punched in the face. He passed out and blood filled his lungs.

Donny was diagnosed with lung cancer last September. In December, his wife passed out, was taken to the ER and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The cancer has spread in both of them. Both have lived passed the time they were supposed to according to their doctors. They are 56 and 52.

Donny's wife was taken to the hospital yesterday. Things aren't good. The cancer is all over her body. Auntie Jean spent the night at the hospital yesterday.

About 10pm my mom called me to let me know. I hate phone calls after 9pm. Mostly because Paul has to get up at 2:30 am to go to work, and he needs his beauty rest, but also because any calls after 9 usually do not involve good news.

So, for now, we are all just waiting to hear anything. My mom said she talked to Auntie Jean but she was in the room with Donnie and didn't want to say anything else that would upset them further. But she did tell my mom things are going downhill and my cousin has been given less than 3 months.

I love and believe in God and Jesus. I just don't understand why things happen like they do.
Any words of wisdom there would be appreciated as well as prayers.

Thanks internet. I love ya.