Friday, July 25, 2008

Mother of the Year

OK....when I was a total bitch to Matt last week, I felt like maybe Aunt Flo would be moving in for her monthly appearance soon. Yesterday was soon.

I am going to be one of those crazzzy bitches who complains about her period, but I'll stop, I promise. So if you can't handle it, go down a couple of paragraphs....really. Pinky promise.

TMI: I have awful periods. The carniage....I wear overnight pads because that is the only thing that can handle the stuff. And I cramp up like hell. Now, mix any kind of pain killer with that, and you get ultra carnage, so I try to suck it up and do without. Usually though, around day 3 and maybe 2 pairs of ruined underwear later, I give up and then all hell breaks loose.

I HAVE been to the doctor about this. They can do nothing. Even an increase in my synthroid doesn't do much. When I first started taking it, yeah, things got better--if you count better being 5 days a month wearing a diaper instead of 8. And my cramps went down to the "almost tolerable" instead of the "give me a spoon so I can scrape out my uterus myself" variety.

Hey, but I'm all about the fun right????

It is 9 am here. So far, I've emptied my dishwasher, made some coffee and feed my kids a vanilla shake for breakfast.

Yep. A. vanilla. shake. I've officially entered the I-don't-give-a-shit-anymore land. They thought they could ask for smoothies, and I don't have any of the stuff to make them now, so they happened upon the ice cream. Begging and pleading ensued and they won.

You can vote me in for mom of the year any time you choose.

I just want to state for the record that the other oh, 27 days of the month, I put a lot of effort into raising my kids and making sure they eat a combination of healthy foods--lots of fruits and veggies, milk, 100% juice. I cook a lot. I am not perfect, Friday's are pizza night. We eat McDonalds once a month. We do crafts, play outside. Read, run around and go to the park.

There will probably be none of that today. I have hit a brick fucking wall.

So, Internet, the mom of the year application will be on my fridge. Feel free to stop on by and fill it out. Just make sure to take one or both of the little kids with you when you leave--oh, and while you are here, you can borrow a dog or three too.

Have a nice day. I'm going back to bed.

1 comment:

Hi! I'm Kim said...

Ice cream for breakfast is a heck of a lot healthier than a pop-tart or sugared cereal. It's calcium, for heaven's sake!